A Wake

A long standing friend came yesterday evening for dinner and to stay for one night. She trained as a nurse a year behind me and her husband was in the “block” between us. I am older than she, and her husband was exactly ten years younger than me. It was devastating when he died after a long illness nearly 2 years ago; he was such a larger-than-life figure, who loved cooking and entertaining friends and also loved his work, latterly as a psychiatric nurse tutor. He was well known for throwing the syllabus out of the window occasionally and bringing in some of his home baking for the students,

He was my “best buddy” and adopted “brother” as we were quite alike in many ways. We learnt to make wine together (pretty foul stuff, I have to admit), then beer which, once we moved on from buying kits, was actually very good indeed. We both played bridge, along with another couple who later moved away. It was not bridge club level, and I seem to remember that it involved the consumption of some wine.

I have never been to a funeral like it; the place was packed with so many friends, fellow staff, students and former students. One eulogy was presented by a mutual friend who flew over from darkest France (somewhere in the Charente) and the other by a colleague. The music was “House of the Rising Sun” which we had long discussed before he became ill. At the crematorium, the undertaker was rather shocked to discover that the music (chosen by him before he died) was to be “Come on Baby, Light My Fire”! Some of his oldest friends at the back felt he deserved a proper send off, so we were to be found dancing to the music at the back of the crowd, with tears running down our cheeks,

Then it was back to a hall at his place of employment for drinks and food and a slide presentation of photographs of him. It was a time of deep sorrow, but also pleasure at meeting up with so many old friends.

It was good that J. and I last night were able to share some happy memories of him, times we spent together both in this country and inFrance.

I still miss him.